$250 million, and the best we get is… rabid monkeys? Ridley Scott’s Gladiator 2 feels like a parody of itself. Pascal’s character is utterly unnecessary, a cardboard figure who exists solely to fill runtime without contributing anything memorable or meaningful. D.W., despite his undeniable talent, is saddled with a bafflingly underwritten role, spouting clunky dialogue as the story collapses around him. As for the central narrative about Maximus Meridius’ son? Trivial and painfully predictable. The "legacy revenge" arc is telegraphed so clearly you could write the script after the first act. No twists, no depth—just a paint-by-numbers retread of the original’s emotional beats. Glory to Dondus indeed.

When Ridley Scott decided to revisit Gladiator, it sounded like an opportunity to expand on one of the greatest historical epics. Instead, we got a rehash that feels more like a missed opportunity than a bold sequel. The first act rushes through familiar territory. A general, born out of combat, loses his family and ends up as a slave. Sound familiar? It’s the same setup as Maximus’s story, minus the emotional weight. And sending Lucilla’s son away to protect him? That’s not just a weak plot point, it spits on everything Maximus and Marcus died for. The second act brings nothing new to the table. The “twist” is predictable, the plot messy, and the villains uninspired. Commodus worked because he was layered, a mix of insecurity and cruelty. Here, the two emperors are generic placeholders. Even the attempted coup feels like déjà vu, with none of the intensity or buildup that made the first movie iconic. The third act delivers a visually stunning battle but lacks substance. The final showdown offers nothing fresh, and the death of the antagonist in front of everyone feels like it’s trying to copy the original. The speech about “Maximus and Marcus’s dream”? We’ve heard it before, and it meant more the first time. What was the point of that last scene? There were so many ways to end this movie with a high note, something meaningful to honor Lucilla or Acacius. Instead, we get a hollow, pointless ending that adds nothing to the story. Credit where it’s due: the cinematography, CGI, and score are outstanding. Visually, the movie is a masterpiece, with breathtaking scenery and polished editing. The music, while clearly inspired by the original, carries the mood well. But great visuals can’t save a story that refuses to move forward. Gladiator 2 had potential, but it’s stuck trying to recreate past glory instead of delivering something new. It’s visually impressive but ultimately hollow.

Denzel is a badass. I love Denzel. He does the tongue thing from Joaquin's role in the first. Not even he could save this pile of crap. The CGI somehow is worse than the original. Historical battles are cool but not even historical battles could save this pile of crap. The Mandalorian is cool. Not even the Mandalorian could save this pile of crap. It's a pile of crap.